Living in Sin or Living for God

There has been a sexual revolution. It came to a head in the 1960's. A woman doctor then gave her blessing to what was happening. She said this: " Because of the pill we are at last able to free human sexual capacities. If a person is capable of responding to three or four partners, that's a rich personality."

That's also a lie; nor is it really new - this "revolution". It is not really a new morality but an old immorality. When the New Testament was being written, in the Roman world at that time, you had a similar sexual breakdown. And ever since there have been periods of conspicuous decadence. In the late 18th and early 19th centuries there was the decadence of the Romantic Poets, like Shelley and Byron. Shelley had seven children by three different mothers. When in 1818 he met Byron in Europe, he found him fat, gloomy and sunk in promiscuity. In two years he had spent fortunes on Venetian woman, sleeping, we are told, with "at least two hundred".

But then came the great evangelical revivals in the 19th century. And in the second half of the 19th century there was a return to sexual restraint and sexual morality. With that restraint came a remarkable advance socially (in terms of humanitarianism) and scientifically (in terms of industrial invention) - certainly in the Christian nations of the West. The married family, based on a Christian ethic, become a foundational building block of society. The results were amazing.

But much of that has now been reversed - and with dire results. Children suffer, society suffers and so do the sexual partners. And so do students. A first year student was describing what it was like living in a university flat: "There are five of us, all girls. One regularly has casual sex with guys she picks up at clubs, one is a practising lesbian and one has a boyfriend who stays here virtually all the time. In the first term one of us had an abortion, two took the morning after pill. I just don't know how to cope with all this."

And people now have physical experiences that are devoid of real love. One poet is at least honest:

The Act of Love lies somewhereBetween the belly and the mind.I lost the love some time agoNow I've only the act to grind.

No wonder young people are so confused. There was a feature in the Guardian last week entitled "Sex is part of our culture now". It was on how life has changed for young Asians in Britain and how they are aping non-Asians with a programme of deceit, lies, pregnancies and abortions. And illustrating this modern sexual culture, in The Times last week there was a review of a new film. In it the leading character has an affair with her daughter's boyfriend. The reviewer calls this "a wonderful portrayal of a woman waking up to life after years of suppressing her emotions." And listen to how the quote goes on: she's "prepared to sacrifice her family for her feelings." That is the modern world. Forget the mind. Forget reason. Forget common sense. Forget the family. Experience your feelings. If it feels good, it is good. Follow your instincts. But the Bible teaches that our instincts and our feelings are often wrong because they are fallen - they are self-centred and not God-centred. So how we need to follow God's standards - the standards in the Bible.

So will you now turn to the passage we had as our Epistle reading tonight - 1 Thessalonians 4.1-12. And my headings tonight are, first, CHRISTIAN SEXUAL ETHICS; secondly, LIVING IN SIN OR LIVING FOR GOD; and, thirdly, WHY BOTHER?

First, CHRISTIAN SEXUAL ETHICS;

But you say, "what have Christians to do with sexual ethics? Doesn't the Bible says 'we are not under the law but under grace'." True. But the Bible doesn't teach that you can disregard God's law if you are a Christian. The apostle Paul taught that "not being under law" means that our acceptance with God does not depend on our keeping his law. We are accepted with God not because of what we do - Bible reading, prayer, being good to our neighbours, coming to Church, being sexually moral and so on. No! We are accepted because of what Christ has done for us on the Cross. For we all sin. But there he died for our sins - including (and especially today including) sexual sin (heterosexual and homosexual) and marital sin and abortion and all those things the modern world treats so lightly. For Christ bore all our guilt, in our place - as we remember especially at this service of Holy Communion. Who needs to come to Christ tonight and ask for and accept his forgiveness and his gift of the Holy Spirit? Perhaps you have a pretty sordid sexual past. So did a lot of those early New Testament Christians Paul wrote to in his letters. But when you are accepted by grace and by faith, you then need to keep God's moral law. Paul tells us plainly in 2 Corinthians 5.15 that:

[Christ] died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Vaughan Roberts, the Rector of St Ebbe's, Oxford, and writing as a single man himself had this to say about that verse in this week's Church of England Newspaper:

"We are all invited to come to Christ as we are, but we cannot stay as we are. He calls us to reorientate our lives so that we live for him, not ourselves. That must mean radical change in every part of our lives, including our sexual behaviour. It will be hard for all of us to follow Christ by obeying the Bible's teaching that sex should be restricted to heterosexual marriage. That teaching is especially hard for those who are only attracted to the same sex, for whom marriage will not seem a realistic possibility. But it will also be very hard for heterosexuals who are involuntarily single, often for life.
Yet many can testify to the Spirit's help in their struggle. We must resist the lie that sex is a human necessity and that only those who have voluntarily chosen celibacy can be expected to abstain. Such teaching ignores scripture, but also insults the Spirit's power."

So look now at verses 1-3 (of chapter 4):

Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.
You've got here three important lessons about Christian sexual ethics.

First, Paul says that fundamental to living as a Christian is "pleasing God" - verse 1 "we instructed you how to live in order to please God." So Christians don't just grit their teeth and obey the moral law in a vacuum. No! Their concern is with the law-giver. They want to please him. And they know his law is good and for their best. So at the heart of all Christian Ethics is pleasing a personal God rather than merely obeying an impersonal law.

Secondly, you need teaching in respect of Christian sexual ethics. Jump now to verse 9:

Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.

Brotherly love - love for your neighbour - instinctively seems right. That is why pretty well everyone will say "Love" is a basic rule of ethics. But there is more to Christian ethics than what you instinctively think is right. That is why you cannot say: "Oh! you are too strict about sexual ethics. All you need is love. If there is love it must be OK." You see, Paul doesn't only say: "about brotherly love we do not need to write to you" in verse 9. He also says in verse 2 that in some things he had to give specific instructions:

For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.

People need instructions in addition to what they themselves "have been taught by God" - namely that love is good. They need specific instructions on sexual matters.

Thirdly, you need to "grow" in your understanding of sexual ethics. Paul speaks of "more and more". Sometimes Christians forget the Bible and need correction.

Some Christians in previous generations forgot that God meant sex in marriage to be enjoyed. But the Bible is quite clear - Proverbs 5.18-20:

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

I am sure The Sun newspaper could give you a more earthy translation; but you get the gist. And today some Christians forget the Bible teaches that marriage is a moral corrective. Nor need there be any apology. In the old Anglican marriage service, in the Book of Common Prayer, you had three "causes" (or reasons) for marriage. I quote:

"First, it was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name. Secondly, it was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ's body. Thirdly, it was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity."

Some modern Christians have taken offence at that second reason. But those 16th century Christians (or Reformers) were simply biblical. Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 7.9 that it is "better to marry than burn with passion". Of course that is not the only reason for marriage. For marriage is the God ordained, best environment for bringing up children as social science is now showing. But then given the reality of our hormones, it is also the God ordained way of having healthy sex and avoiding all varieties of sexual immorality. Let's not be mealy mouthed. Social science is also now showing that men and women who keep to the Christian sexual ethic and keep sex for marriage alone, on average, have more fulfilled sex lives with more exciting sex and more often. So if sex before or outside marriage is a temptation, a healthy marriage is a God given means of preventing you falling. True, some are less tempted than others. And some are called to be single. But with the decline in marriages in Britain, with the increase of sexual immorality leading to an increase of sexually transmitted diseases and with the population not sustaining itself, pray for more Christians and for more Christian marriages. Paul's "more and more" means you should at least think about these things. Let's move on.

Secondly, LIVING IN SIN OR LIVING FOR GOD;

Look at verses 4-5:

each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.

These Thessalonians were just like us today. And Paul was writing to them from Corinth. In his commentary on Thessalonians John Stott reminds us that:

"In Corinth Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sex and beauty, whom the Romans identified with Venus, sent her servants out as prostitutes to roam the streets by night. Thessalonica, on the other hand, was particularly associated with the worship of deities called the Cabiri, in whose rites, 'gross immorality was promoted under the name of religion'."

Now verse 4 can be translated "each one of you [should] know how to take a wife for himself in holiness and honour." That is the RSV translation. Paul could then be saying, that in this context, it is important that you marry. And - referring to the man - his attitude towards his wife should be marked by holiness and honour. He may be the head, as the Bible teaches, but he must never dishonour his wife. The Bible is clear both on the headship of the husband but also on the need for his self-sacrifice and his honouring his wife. The Biblical wife is no doormat. She is there in the Old Testament book of Proverbs - chapter 31.10-31 - a most remarkable woman and not the sort of woman you would want to tangle with. She runs a profitable business while managing her household and employees. She is a philanthropist and apparently very well educated. She is feminine, fearless and a believer.

So how should you "know how to take a wife (or husband)" - following the RSV translation? Yes, God has got someone for you, if he wants you to be married. But how do you discover that person? As with all guidance, you pray and you think. You don't just "feel" or wait for romantic hunches. And you remember that the Bible says you should only marry a fellow believer. Then, assuming there is sexual attraction, you consider mutual interests, education, families and so on. There also needs to be consideration as to timing - this is where common sense comes in. And you consult others and others can give you advice.

But this verse may be just reinforcing basic sexual morality as the NIV translates it. Either way, both translations will be true to the teaching of the Bible as other biblical passages say the same things. And either way the teaching goes back to that teaching of Jesus in Mark's Gospel we had for our Gospel reading - Mark 10.6-9:

at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

Living in sin is to live in defiance of this creation principle. Living for God is to live in accordance with this principle. The Old Testament principle is here confirmed by Jesus. And it is very simple. There is to be a leaving of father and mother. then a uniting with a wife or husband - that lifelong public commitment. And only then are the two to become one flesh through sexual intercourse. And when that happens (that leaving, uniting and becoming one flesh), God has joined them (the man and the woman) together. This is a mystery. And that is why marriage is permanent. It is more than the choice of a man and a woman. And because God has joined the couple, no human being must separate them. This is tough talk.

This is against sex before marriage; sex outside marriage, divorce and remarriage (and so polygamy) and homosexual relationships (for it was referring to Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve).

Now, don't be surprised when the rest of the world thinks you are strange. That is what you expect from your friends who are not believers. Paul talks in 1 Thessalonians of the "passionate lust" of "the heathen, who do not know God." But you must not conform to their behaviour - their living in sin. Nor must you think you must keep quiet about your ethical beliefs. Jesus reminds us that this teaching on sex and marriage is a creation ordinance. So it is for human beings as such. It is not an ordinance of redemption - a perks for the Christian only. Oh no! This is good for the world as well as the church.

Finally, WHY BOTHER?

I will be very brief and give just two reasons. First, because living in sin - fornication, adultery and homosexual relations are damaging to people. At the end of the day it wrongs your brother or sister and takes advantage of them - verse 6a:

in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.

There are so many ways that sexual immorality wrongs other people. But all sexual immorality destabilizes the sexual culture; that in turn destabilizes the married family. And when that happens and marriages break up children suffer, relatives suffer, and society suffers. A few people may think they trade up. The majority trade down. They are "taken advantage of". So "living in sin" damages others.

Secondly, there is God's judgment. This life is not all there is. In heaven sexual relationships will be transcended - Jesus taught that. Nor do you have to be sexually experienced to be fully human. Jesus was sexually inexperienced but the most fully human being ever - he was the perfect man. So never get sex and marriage out of proportion. There are more important things. Eternity is what matters most to all of us and being right with God. So listen to verse 6b:

The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you.

This is so serious that Paul repeats the warning that he had already given.

I must conclude. The Christian sexual ethic is clear. Living for God and not living in sin is best. God's way is good and marriage is good. God loves us and wants the best for us. And he knows how we work best. He is our maker! And we must bother, for the sake of others and because this life is not all there is. We all sin even in thought if not in deed, in this area of sexual morality. But this Communion service reminds us that Christ died for all - and he forgives all sins. You simply have to thank him and trust him. You will then want to live to please him as you look forward to heaven.