Marital Faithfulness

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The title for our sermon this morning as we carry on with our studies in Malachi, is Marital Faithfulness – a subject of vital relevance for today. We are to be looking at Malachi 2.10-16. And my headings, if you want to jot them down, are first, THE CONTEXT, secondly, MARITAL FAITHFULNESS and thirdly, REQUIRED ACTION.


First, THE CONTEXT


For those of you who have just got back after the summer and missed the earlier sermons in this series, let me begin by saying something about the immediate context of our verses. Malachi was probably prophesying after the Jews had returned from their Babylonian exile in 538 BC. The Persian King Cyrus let them return to rebuild their ruined temple. But the reconstruction was half-hearted and finished only in 515. Then, however, some had great hopes of God’s new age dawning. But that did not seem to come. What’s more, the new temple was not as magnificent as before. And there were problems from pagan people who had been settled in the region. These had come with their various forms of Baal worship and its sexual decadence after the Assyrians had earlier captured Samaria.

When you come back from a great summer break, do you sometimes open the door, pick up the mail and find a host of problems waiting for your? Or do you sometimes find when you get back to work with high expectations, that the computers are all down or those over you or under you are incapable of helping you because of their problems, or some other harsh reality?

Well, that’s what it was like for these returnees from Babylon – there was a let-down feeling. And in this depressing situation many drifted from God. There was slackness in religious duties. They were more interested in repairing their own homes than making smart God’s house, the temple. That, I may say, is still a problem. Churches, inside and out, looking shoddy are a bad witness. Can I thank, therefore, Alan Palmer and the team who have repainted our main hall over August.

And the returning clergy, all those years ago, were sloppy in their leading of worship. The priests were using mangy, low quality animals for sacrifice. So for a period of 40 or 50 years people were drifting spiritually and morally. Earlier in Malachi you can read about some other problems. But this morning in verses 10-16 we are looking at two particular moral problems. The first was marrying non-believers. These are people who, then and now, do not believe in the true God, who the Bible reveals as one God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The second problem was divorce. And if Sir George Adam Smith, the famous Old Testament scholar, is right, it was divorce to remarry younger pagan women. Well, that is the immediate context of our verses. But there is a wider context for the whole book and this small period of time. Let me explain.

God’s revelation that we have written down in the Bible is progressive and cumulative. So when you study the Old Testament it is helpful to remember words from the Thirty-nine articles of the Church of England, in Articles VII and XX. Article VII concerning the Old Testament says:

Although the Law given from God by Moses as touching Ceremonies and Rites, do not bind Christian men, nor the Civil precepts thereof ought of necessity to be received in any commonwealth; yet notwithstanding, no Christian man whatsoever is free from the obedience of the Commandments which are called Moral.

All that is because the New Testament (God’s final word and about Christ) makes it clear, for example, that Old Testament sacrifices were fulfilled in the sacrifice of Christ on Calvary and, for example, that the holy wars of Old Testament times are not necessary and right for today. But the Moral Commandments are still binding, with the 10 Commandments being their great summary. However, teasing out and applying those moral commandments it is wise to take account of Article XX that says, you may not “so expound one place of Scripture that it be repugnant to another.”

That is very important. It means you must interpret the Old Testament in the light of the New and the New in the light of the Old. And when you do that you see there is development in God’s revelation, with truths brought into sharper focus. Also there is development of people’s understanding of God’s revelation – not least in regard to marriage. Indeed, it took time, following the Fall, for God’s people to get back to God’s creative intention of one man and one women committed together for life in marriage, with death alone dissolving the union. This is what Jesus and the New Testament teach, as we heard in our New Testament reading. And that means, as Malachi had begun to teach, there is to be no polygamy or serial polygamy through divorce.

Also Malachi makes clear (as does Paul in the New Testament) if you are a believer, you are only to marry another believer, However, unlike sometimes in Old Testament times, the New Testament makes clear, if you are married to an unbeliever, you should not try to leave him or her (1 Cor 7.12-14). But if he or she refuses to stay, for peace, you must let them go. Well, all that is the wider context of our passage this morning.


So now secondly, MARITAL FAITHFULNESS; and I have four sub-headings and the first is that marital faithfulness is essential for society. Look at verses 10-12

“10Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? 11Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. 12As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob --even though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty.”

Our section of Malachi this morning contains some difficulties with the original text, but the gist is clear enough. And what is clear is that marriage is not only a covenant involving a husband and wife as verse 14 says.

It is also part of the covenant God has entered into with men and women corporately. It is a “community covenant”, established by our creator for everyone and which Malachi’s contemporaries were “profaning”:

“Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another?”

You see, when marriage breaks down society breaks down. This happened in the 1920s in Soviet Russia when the Leninists attempted to abolish “the marriage family”. It is happening in Britain and the West today. Years ago, in 1934, J.D.Unwin wrote a massive book entitled Sex and Culture. Unwin says that when he started his researches,

“I sought to establish nothing, and had no idea of what the result would be. With care-free open-mindedness I decided to test, by reference to human records, a somewhat startling conjecture that had been made by the analytical psychologists. This suggestion was that, if the social regulations forbid direct satisfaction of the sexual impulses, the emotional conflict is expressed in another way, and that what we call “civilization” has always been built up by compulsory sacrifices in the gratification of innate desires.

And after studying many societies and cultures, he discovered (I quote again):

“The greatest energy has been displayed only by those societies which have reduced their sexual opportunity to a minimum by the adoption of absolute monogamy.”

That is in line with God’s covenant. For if you keep the seventh commandment regarding faithfulness in marriage – “you shall not commit adultery” - you will experience God’s blessing. So, one, marital faithfulness is essential to society.

Two, marital faithfulness is essential for the individual. Look at verses 13-14:

“13Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.”

Marital unfaithfulness destroys a person’s relationship with God. In the New Testament Peter has an instruction …

“… husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect … so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3.7).

That is why, if like these ancient people, you marry a non-believer who rejects Jesus Christ, you are bound to suffer because you cannot pray together. Also, with different world views and priorities, when key decisions are to be made, you will find it hard to come to one mind.

In Malachi’s time it is possible these returned exiles were divorcing their now older wives to marry younger pagan Samaritan women. These women, being young, were sexually attractive and, more wealthy, coming from families established in the land for generations. No doubt there was short term pleasure. But this marital unfaithfulness led to individual misery –

“you flood the Lord's altar with tears [says Malachi]. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings.”

So marital faithfulness is essential for society and for the individual. But this is only what you ought to expect, because three, marital faithfulness is our maker’s instruction. Look at verse 15: “Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his.”

The text in the original is difficult to translate. But the NIV translation certainly fits in with other biblical teaching, notably Genesis 2.24. And Jesus highlights that verse as fundamental for our thinking on marriage, as we heard from our New Testament/Gospel reading (Mark 10.7-9):

“7…For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

You see, marriage is not just a human act. God is joining a man and a woman together in an amazing bond. And he is a witness to the marriage vows. That is why you cannot do what you like with marriage and get away with it. For verse 14 says, “the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth.”

In our modern marriage service God is acknowledged as a witness to the promises. They are promises to take a marriage partner to love them and be faithful to them “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health … till death us do part.”

But God is also an un-acknowledged witness in a registry office. So verse 15, with a probable allusion to Genesis 2.24 and in line with Jesus’ clear teaching, means that God’s will is as follows: for someone formally having left the family home, to unite with a wife (or husband). Then, and only then, “the two [should] become one flesh” through sexual union. Marital faithfulness, therefore, means no sexual intercourse before marriage and no sexual intercourse outside marriage.

“But why?” you may still be asking. Why has there got to be this sexual restraint? Is God just interested in spoiling our fun? The answer is, “no!” Social studies indicate that on average those who follow God’s instructions have, in marriage, better sex. But a most important answer is that …

... fourth, marital faithfulness is essential for children. Look again at verse 15:

“15Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”

A fundamental answer why marital faithfulness is so essential is “because he [the Lord is] seeking godly offspring.”

With marital unfaithfulness, on average, children suffer. Of course, there are wonderful children from disrupted families and disrupted children from wonderful families. But social studies make it clear, on average, this is not the case.

Norman Dennis, who died last year, one of the truly great social scientists of the late 20th century, and head of social science at the University of Newcastle has proved that. His two famous books Families without Fatherhood and Rising Crime and the Dismembered Family are still worth reading.

A very recent study confirms all Dennis taught and sounds alarm bells for the North East. For the North East is the worst area for births outside marriage in England with 55% of births outside marriage. Nationally the figure for 2007 was 44.3% having risen from, listen, 8% in 1971. This rise in births outside marriage is a real cause for concern. Professor John Ermisch from the Institute for Social and Economic Research is another one saying so. His research is based on 17 years of detailed longitudinal data from the British Household Panel Survey - a study of 10,000 British adults interviewed every year since 1991. He has discovered that the amount of time children spend, from babyhood, living with just one parent has social consequences. He finds that a baby born to married parents spends on average 1.6 years of their first 16 with only one parent. A child born to cohabiting parents spends 4.7 years with just one parent. And a child born into a single mother household spends 7.8 years.

But, and this is the issue, the longer the time with just one parent, on average, the lower the school grades, the worse the job prospects and the poorer the health. And the real worry now is that marriage is at an all time low. For cohabitation has risen 64% in ten years – with over a quarter of births now to cohabitees. And the facts are that only 35% of children brought up by unmarried parents will live with both parents throughout their childhood. For those with married parents, even with our bad divorce culture, the figure rises to 70%. Professor Ermisch finds that “having a child in a cohabiting union is often not indicative of a long-term partnership”. And if an unmarried mother breaks up with her partner, more than half are still without a partner five years after the break up. So Professor Ermish concludes:

“non-marital childbearing in cohabiting unions tends to create lone mother families [with negative social consequences].”

This is not God’s intention. So, to recap, lifelong, heterosexual, monogamous marriage is essential for society, essential for the individual (adult), our Maker’s instruction and essential for children. No wonder we read in the first part of verse 16:

“‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the LORD Almighty.”


And that brings us to our third (and final heading), REQUIRED ACTION. Look at the last part of verse 16 which is a near repeat, for emphasis, of the last part of verse 15:

“So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.”

Malachi was addressing two constituencies. There were those who had positively done wrong. And there were those who had not done wrong but were drifting, depressed and disillusioned. These people especially needed to “guard” against temptation, as we all do today. Given our morally collapsing culture, as people in your close family are or have been mixed up sexually or maritally, you too will be tempted to drift and compromise your own standards, instead of loving without condoning.

But what about those who have done wrong and are already mixed up? Well, remember John’s Gospel. It starts in chapter 2 with Jesus endorsing marriage at a celebration in Cana in Galilee. However, in chapter 4 he is talking, at a well, to a Samaritan woman who had been divorced five times and now was cohabiting. But she was soundly converted and became a great personal evangelist. So if you have been similarly mixed up, God can use you, if you trust him. Like that woman you can help make new disciples. But as Jesus says in Matthew 28.20 that involves “teaching [people] to obey everything I have commanded you.”

You can tell people that through the cross Jesus forgives all sin, including sexual and marital sin; and by his Holy Spirit he gives new strength for living in difficult situations. And knowing that in heaven marriage will be transcended and life will be better for all, married, single, divorced – everyone – you can tell people that Jesus taught that sex is for marriage. And he taught that marriage is for life and so there must be no divorce and remarriage (with the Matthean exception probably relating to Herod and Herodias and the forbidden degrees). Paul underlined that teaching in (1 Cor 7.10-11):

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord). A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And her husband must not divorce his wife.”

And you can echo Paul’s teaching that believers should only marry believers. The point is this. In God’s providence he can use you more than someone else. For you have credibility knowing first hand the damage and pain marital unfaithfulness causes.

So, in conclusion: we should all seek to be more like Jesus. With him there was true compassion, not sentimentality, for those mixed up in every sin. But that meant a willingness to say, like Malachi, the unpopular and what seemed hard, when true compassion required it.

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