Submit to One Another

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I've never forgotten a conversation I had years ago with a young woman at a conference. She was interested in the Christian faith, and was beginning to investigate the teaching of the Bible. She said she found some of it difficult. For instance, there was the Bible's teaching about wives submitting to husbands. She said the thought of this made her feel physically sick, it was so abhorrent to her. Such is the hostility to the idea that submission should be built in to any of our relationships. And yet the truth is that submission, properly understood, is fundamental not just in marriage but to all Christian discipleship. That's why 'Submit to One Another' is my title in this series on 'Making the Church Real'.

The phrase comes from the apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians, 5.21, where he says:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

He expands on what he means in the section from 5.22 - 6.9. Do please turn to that. You'll find it on p 1176 in the pew bibles. And there's space for notes at the back of the service sheet.

5.1-2 provide the context for what follows:

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…

We should live like Christ.

Then verse 21 spells out some of what that's going to mean:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Here is a basic principle for life in Christ: mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. We are not to be a collection of Kings and Queens each ruling our own dominion, population of one. Because of what we know of Jesus, and because we submit to him, we submit also to one another.

Christ is not only the model for leadership. He is also the model for submission. Jesus lived on earth in submission to the will of his heavenly Father. The supreme example of that is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before he died. He said to his Father (this is Luke 22.42):

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

There's more dignity, freedom and strength of character expressed in that moment than in any other moment in human history. There is nothing demeaning about living in submission to Christ and in appropriate submission to one another. When we do that, we're imitating him.

The notion of submission to any authority is one that goes counter to an age that sees independence and autonomy as just about the most precious things in life. Submission is often seen as dangerous and degrading. But the truth is that the only way to true freedom for all of us is by submitting to the authority of Christ, who is our Lord as well as our Saviour. And that means willingly and voluntarily submitting to those who have a God-given authority, for the sake of order in society.

The Bible speaks of at least five areas of life in which this principle of submission needs to be worked out. They are marriage, family, employment, the state, and the church. Ephesians 5.22 - 6.9 covers the first three. The other two are elsewhere in the New Testament. Let's look at them.


First, SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST IN YOUR MARRIAGE (5.22-33)

Verses 22-23:

Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…

Someone was telling me the other day that she read this at a wedding service. Afterwards, she found herself on the receiving end of a strong negative reaction from a number of the women there. Maybe we feel our own hackles rising when we hear this. So what's this all about?

A wife shouldn't seek to dominate her husband. She shouldn't seek to force her own will where there's a disagreement. Her attitude to him should be submissive.

A number of things need to be said.

First, accepting this pattern of headship and submission - or headship and helpership - in marriage is unavoidable if you accept the Bible as the word of God. It is the Bible's plain teaching.

Secondly, this pattern for marriage is grounded in creation and is therefore permanently valid. That's implied in this passage when Paul takes us back in verse 31 to the creation account in Genesis 2, before the Fall. He spells it out further in 1 Corinthians 11 and 1 Timothy 2. It's not something that derives from the culture of Paul's day. It's built into the fabric of creation.

Thirdly, different does not mean inferior. Men and women are equal in the sight of God.

Fourthly, being equal does not mean having the same roles in God's order for society. Just last Sunday morning I was speaking about the Bible's teaching in 1 Corinthians 12 about the body of Christ: the eye is just as important as the ear; the hand is as important as the foot; but their roles are different. So it is with husband and wife. We have to hold together both the equality and the complementarity of the sexes.

Fifthly, submission is voluntary, not forced. Submission is a matter of willing obedience to the will of a loving God.

There are at least three benefits of this Christ-like submission. One: Jesus is pleased, because he is being obeyed and imitated. Two: it creates unity in the marriage. If a wife isn't at certain points prepared to submit her will, then the alternatives are these: the victory of the strongest personality; continual conflict; or going off in different directions. All of them undermine the unity and health of the marriage. Three: it teaches Christlikeness by example - not least to the husband

But haven't men oppressed women in appalling ways down the ages? They often have. And that's because Ephesians 5 has been ignored, not because it's been followed. The vile parody of submission and headship that we sometimes see displayed shouldn't cause us to chuck the beautiful biblical original into the wheelie-bin with it.

Remember we've only had half the picture so far. On to verse 25:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

Headship is not lording it. It's serving the wife, as Jesus served the church. It's putting her welfare above your own convenience and comfort - even above your very life. Certainly leadership and initiative are involved, but they're exercised through loving care.

So, we are to follow the pattern of Christ, and of his relationship with the church. Submit to one another; let wives submit to their husbands, and give them due respect; let husbands love their wives with a Christ-like love.

Now the foundation of a strong marriage is the best possible basis for being effective parents. And that's what Paul comes on to next.


Secondly, SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST IN YOUR FAMILY (6.1-4)

6.1:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord [that is, in Christ], for this is right.

Here is the principle of Christ-centred submission worked out again, this time between children and their parents. Unless they are commanding something forbidden by God, or forbidding something commanded by God, the duty laid on children is to obey, at least until they're adult and taking full responsibility for themselves.

That is for the child's own good. And it is right that we should teach children to obey. Learning to obey God will be more straightforward if they have first learned to obey their parents. And there's more - 6.2:

Honour your father and mother'…

Throughout life - not just when we're young - we have to be careful to honour our parents. That of course features in God's top ten commands. Why? Is it because in practice that's something we don't do at all well? Do we too easily take our parents for granted? Do we even forget them, and wish them away? We should honour them. In an increasingly aging population, we'll have to pay attention to that neglected command, or suffer the consequences.

But the duties don't just fall on the children. 6.4:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Mothers are also to do this of course. But perhaps that goes without saying, and it's the fathers who need reminding that they personally have a heavy responsibility for the upbringing of their children. It's no good leaving it to others, whether in the family, or at church, or at school.

We should be working to remove ways of thought and behaviour that shouldn't be there, and to instil ways of thinking and behaviour that should be there.

That's a long-term project that has to be maintained year in and year out until it's finally too late to do any more. Here too we have to be careful that God-given authority is not abused. Children are people too, and must be treated with great respect. They don't belong to their parents. 6.4:

… do not exasperate your children…

says the apostle.

If our child is angry, maybe we're the one's who should be apologising. Colossians 3.21 says:

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

What is it that exasperates and embitters? It may be an unbending demand for obedience in something that the child just cannot see any purpose in. It may be treating an older child as if he or she were still an infant. Or it may be inconsistency. We shouldn't be surprised that we have irritated children if we behave in irritating ways.

Discipline shouldn't be arbitrary or unkind. That won't build up the child. It won't encourage a right submission and obedience. It will lead to discouragement and frustration. But don't abdicate responsibility either. We are to give our children a Christ-centred training for life - a training in right submission.


Thirdly, SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST IN YOUR EMPLOYMENT (6.5-9)

Paul's third example of the application of the principle of submission relates to slaves and masters - not a family relationship but an economic one.

The nature of that relationship in the first century Roman world was not that of employee and employer. The slave was a possession. The master was the owner. But Paul doesn't regard the slave in that dehumanised way. He addresses slaves within the Christian community as fellow-heirs in the family of God.

However, they are to live out in their slavery the principle of mutual submission. And here, too, what transforms the slave's attitude is putting Christ at the centre. From 6.5:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favour when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ [there it is for the second time], doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men [that's the third time in three verses], because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever he does, whether he is slave or free.

Then what's astonishing in the context of the culture of the time is what Paul says next (6.9):

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favouritism with him.

Both slave and master should be living in submission. They are equal before Christ. That, as someone has put it, is to put a time bomb under the institution of slavery. But in the mean time, the slave should serve as if serving Christ; and the master should treat his slave as he would want to be treated.

A contract of employment is different. But surely what was true for slavery is even more applicable to employment. The employee should work as if Christ is the employer. Employers should treat employees as they would want to be treated, in the knowledge that Christ is Lord of them both.

If we're employed, then whatever our work, we're better off than slaves were. If we allow this principle of Christ-centred - not employer-centred, but Christ-centred - submission to shape our thinking, then our attitude and approach to our work will be transformed.

We all have a responsibility to the Lord for each other. Whether wives or husbands, parents or children, employees or employers, we are to submit to Christ, and faithfully fulfil the role that he has given us for now, looking to the other's interests, and not our own.

If we stand on our own rights; if our major concern is for own fulfilment, our own enjoyment, then that sets up powerful centrifugal forces in families and societies that tend to force them apart. If our aim is to be like Christ, to imitate him, then that acts like glue that sticks people together.

The same applies to our relationship to the state. So:


Fourthly, SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST IN THE STATE (Romans 13.1-2)

Would you turn back a few pages in your Bibles to Romans 13. That's on page 1140. Here's Romans 13:1-2 :

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.

Then three times Paul describes government as the servant of God. In verse 4 he says that the one in authority "is God's servant to do you good..." And again, "He is God's servant, and agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrong-doer." And then in verse 6: "This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants ..."

Governments are under the authority of God, we are under their authority, and we should be appropriately submissive.

What is our reaction, I wonder, when that delightful brown envelope arrives on the doormat some time after the beginning of April with another tax return to complete? Do we think to ourselves, "Ahh, another message from God via his servant!" Maybe our attitude to government needs some revision.

As well as being made by God, government is God's agent. It serves his purpose of ordering our life together, for our welfare. So we should submit to the authority of governments. They have legitimate authority that should be accepted. They should not be rebelled against. Verse 2:

... he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves.

And verse 5:

... it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.

Which is to say that when we recognise that government is God-given, our submission will not simply be a self-centred concern to avoid sanctions, but a genuine recognition of the blessings that we receive from God's hand through it.

So, to return, for instance to that ominous brown envelope marked 'Inland Revenue': if we have a right understanding of the role played by government in working for the common good, our basic attitude to the Inland Revenue won't be one of resentment. It'll be one of gratitude to God. Temptation to evade paying tax will be seen for what it is: temptation to rebel against the rule of God.

But again this raises a question. Is God teaching us that this obedience to secular authority should be absolute and without exception?

The answer to that has to be a clear 'No!' The submission and obedience required of us is not absolute. It is conditional. What, then, is the condition of our obedience to be? It is this: if our obedience to secular authority would require us to disobey the Word of God, then we should obey the Word of God rather than the authorities. That kind of disobedience is not rebellion. It's submission to the higher authority of God. So for instance, when the apostles Peter and John are required by their own Jewish authorities to stop telling people about the risen Jesus and persuading them to become Christians, Peter replies:

Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.

Government serves God. But at times it's a rebellious servant, and our submission to God takes precedence.


Fifthly, SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST IN THE CHURCH (Hebrews 13.17)

Would you turn, finally, to Hebrews 13. That's about 70 pages further on - at page 1212.

This is a letter urging us not to drift away from the gospel - not to fall away from faith. Believers are to take a leaf out of the book of Paula Radcliffe. We're to fix our eyes on Jesus and run the race of discipleship with perseverance, never giving up.

Hebrews 13 spells out a lot of the practical implications of that. And one of them is there in verse 17:

Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

The other day it was reported that the Prime Minister had mentioned God, much to the horror of his minders, whose comment was, 'We don't do God'. The Prime Minister was talking about the Iraq war. He said that he expected to have to give account to God for those who lost their lives or were maimed as a result of his decisions.

He's right. He will have to. But it's not just Tony Blair who'll be held to account before God for how he's lived his life and the decisions he's taken. It's all of us. And in particular, any of us who have leadership responsibility in the church 'must give an account' before God, Hebrews warns.

We are all under authority, and that applies within the life of the church, just as in the other four areas we've considered. The unity of the church, and effective teamwork within the church, depend on a right submission to the authority of the leaders God puts over us in the church.

So, if I might personalise this for a moment: we need not worry - David must account for all he does to God. We need not concern ourselves with bringing him to book. We're out of line if we do that! But, according to Hebrews, we do have it in our power to make David's work either a burden or a joy. And it won't do any of us any good if it is a burden! Godly obedience is the key. It may not be fashionable - but it's right.

So: submit to one another. Apply that principle in marriage, family, employment, nation and church - in other words, in the whole of life. Why? Out of reverence for Christ, who submitted to his heavenly Father's will because he loved us, and he wanted us to be truly and eternally free.

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